Maude here.
I’ve been watching the show “Dance Moms” on Amazon Prime. I’m on season 2 and it has become something I’m probably more emotionally attached to than is socially acceptable.
DUDES. Dudes…
This show is phenomenally repulsive and addictive. It’s confusing, it’s infuriating, and it is one of the most emotionally shallow things I’ve ever witnessed. I love that these grown women squabble like 13 year olds, I love that their kids are more mature than they are, and I love that I don’t live in their world.
More than anything, above all else, I love that Abby Lee Miller exists. This is obviously an unpopular opinion, but hey, this is the internet and I’m unashamed to adore the behemoth Abby, who rules with the might of a thousand Hitlers in the dance studio. She makes me giggle with power and unencumbered loathing for the inadequacies of the human race.
Let me be clear: I don’t dislike the children or feel good about the insanity that goes on before their eyes and I abhor it when grown adults systematically ruin their offsprings’ lives with their sniveling, putrescent verbal abuse. I find myself wagging my finger at those dried up old dance hags who subject their children to their mental illnesses. I do, however, feel like Abby Lee Miller should have some sort of authority to smack the moms silly every time they open their gap-toothed mouths. Abby Lee Miller is LAW, bitches.
I’m sure I’ll type out more of this later, but for now… Abby Lee for PRESIDENT.
Actually… that’d be like having the love-child of Ayn Rand and Joseph Stalin, so scratch that.
ABBY LEE FOR SUPREME LEADER OF DANCE!
…And can somebody fire that Cathy from all dance for the rest of time?
Fin.
Ermahgerd Perterters 